The Cost of "Log Kya Kahenge"
The Invisible Prison We Never Realize We're Living In
"The child grew older. The voice grew louder."
Hey there! I'm Pranjali, and today I'm back with another blog.
Before we begin, I want to ask you a few simple questions.
- How many careers were never chosen?
- How many dreams were abandoned?
- How many people became someone they never wanted to be?
What if I told you that, in many cases, the answer to these questions lies in just four words?
"Log Kya Kahenge?"
A sentence we have heard since childhood.
A sentence that has silently shaped our choices, influenced our decisions, and, at times, made us live according to society's expectations instead of our own.
But have we ever stopped and asked ourselves—
Who are these "Log"?
And more importantly,
Why do we allow their opinions to decide the direction of our lives?
When Did We Stop Living for Ourselves?
Was it during adulthood?
Or did it begin much earlier?
When a child is born, they know nothing about society.
They don't know about reputation.
They don't know about status.
They don't know about being judged.
A child is fearless.
They ask endless questions.
They laugh without hesitation.
They dream without limits.
They explore the world with curiosity instead of fear.
Then, one day...
A new voice enters their life.
"Chaar Log Kya Kahenge?"
At first, it feels like just another sentence.
But slowly, it becomes a part of every important decision.
The child grows up.
But the voice grows with them.
It follows them to school.
It sits beside them while choosing subjects.
It stands next to them while choosing a career.
It questions their relationships.
It enters their marriage.
And before they realise it, they start passing the same voice to the next generation.
Perhaps the saddest part is this—
One day, we stop hearing it as society's voice.
We begin to hear it as our own.
"बचपन सपनों से शुरू होता है, लेकिन समाज धीरे-धीरे उसे डर सिखा देता है।"
School: When Curiosity Meets Comparison
The child enters school carrying curiosity.
Society enters carrying expectations.
The child raises their hand because they want to learn.
Soon, they begin raising it because they want approval.
A child scores 85%.
Instead of hearing,
"Well done, you worked hard."
they hear,
"Sharma ji ke bete ko dekho, uske 95% aaye hain."
Another child loves drawing.
But is told,
"Drawing se career nahi banta."
A boy wants to learn classical dance.
People smile.
Then someone whispers,
"Log kya kahenge?"
A girl wants to play cricket.
Instead of asking how well she plays, people ask,
"Ladki hoke?"
Little by little...
Curiosity loses to comparison.
Dreams lose to expectations.
Confidence loses to approval.
Nobody notices the change.
Not because it happens overnight.
But because it happens one sentence at a time.
"तुलना प्रतिभा को नहीं बढ़ाती, केवल आत्मविश्वास को कम करती है।"
College: Whose Dream Are We Chasing?
School ends.
College begins.
The child has grown.
The voice hasn't changed.
Now the questions become bigger.
Engineering?
Medicine?
Civil Services?
MBA?
These are all respectable careers.
But I want to ask a different question.
Who chose them?
Was it your dream?
Your parents' dream?
Or society's definition of success?
Every year, countless students choose careers they never truly wanted.
Not because they lack talent.
But because they fear disappointing others.
Some wanted to become writers.
Some musicians.
Some athletes.
Some photographers.
Some entrepreneurs.
Instead...
They chose what looked respectable.
Maybe they became successful.
But did they become happy?
Sometimes, the biggest failure isn't choosing the wrong career.
It's never discovering the one you truly wanted.
"अगर सपनों का फैसला समाज करेगा, तो ज़िंदगी आपकी होकर भी आपकी नहीं रहेगी।"
Career: Success According to Whom?
The degree is complete.
The job begins.
The salary arrives.
The appreciation follows.
Everyone says,
"You've made it."
But deep inside, a question refuses to disappear.
"Is this really the life I wanted?"
Some people leave secure jobs to start businesses.
People call them irresponsible.
Some choose teaching over corporate jobs.
People call it a waste of potential.
Some decide to follow art instead of money.
People ask,
"Log kya kahenge?"
Success is celebrated.
But only when society approves of it.
Marriage: When Love Meets Society
Then comes another important decision.
Marriage.
Two people love each other.
But before anyone asks,
"Are they kind?"
or
"Do they respect each other?"
another question arrives first.
"What will people say?"
Different caste.
Different religion.
Different community.
Different age.
Different language.
Different financial background.
Suddenly...
Love is no longer enough.
Society becomes the third person in the relationship.
Sometimes, families reject relationships.
Sometimes, couples sacrifice their happiness.
Sometimes, dowry is demanded—not because it is right, but because
"Log kya kahenge agar kuch nahi liya?"
The invisible voice changes its words.
But never its purpose.
"रिश्ते दिलों से बनते हैं, समाज की मंजूरी से नहीं।"
Has It Always Been This Way?
As I reflected on this invisible voice, another question came to my mind.
Has society always been this centred around what others think?
History suggests that the answer is more complex.
Many historians describe the Early Vedic period as a time when women generally enjoyed greater participation in education, philosophical discussions, and religious life. Over time, especially during the Later Vedic period, society became more structured, patriarchal norms strengthened, and social expectations became more rigid.
Perhaps this wasn't the beginning of the phrase,
"Log Kya Kahenge."
But could it have been the beginning of a mindset where society slowly became more important than the individual?
Where honour became more important than happiness.
Where acceptance became more important than authenticity.
Where people slowly stopped asking,
"What do I want?"
and started asking,
"What will people think?"
Parenthood: When the Voice Changes Its Speaker
Years pass.
The child becomes a parent.
Without even realising it...
The same sentence returns.
Only this time...
It comes from their own mouth.
"Log kya kahenge?"
Not because they want to control their children.
But because they genuinely believe they are protecting them.
And that is how fear quietly travels from one generation to another.
No one teaches it in school.
No one writes it in books.
Yet almost everyone learns it.
The Real Cost
Perhaps the greatest cost of "Log Kya Kahenge" isn't embarrassment.
It's invisible.
The artist who never painted.
The entrepreneur who never started.
The singer who never performed.
The writer who never published.
The student who never chose the career they loved.
The woman who never left an unhappy marriage.
The man who never expressed his emotions because
"Mard rote nahi."
How many versions of ourselves have we buried...
just to be accepted by people who were never going to live our lives?
"दुनिया की सबसे महंगी कीमत वह जीवन है, जिसे हमने दूसरों की राय के लिए छोड़ दिया।"
Breaking the Invisible Prison
Maybe freedom doesn't begin when society changes.
Maybe it begins when we ask ourselves one simple question.
"What do I truly want?"
Not,
"What will people think?"
Perhaps the next generation doesn't need more successful people.
Perhaps it needs more courageous people.
People who teach children to think independently.
To dream freely.
To fail without shame.
And to live a life that is truly their own.
Conclusion
Before I end this blog, I want to leave you with four final questions.
If nobody were watching...
Would you choose the same career?
Would you make the same decisions?
Would you still live the same life?
Or would you finally become the person you always wanted to be?
Because perhaps...
The greatest prison was never built with bricks or iron bars.
It was built with four simple words.
"Log Kya Kahenge?"
And perhaps...
The first step towards freedom is asking a different question.
"Main Kya Chahta/Chahti Hoon?"
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